Posts tagged life

It’s Time to Stop Thinking and Just Live

     I’m so nervous and particular about everything I do.  Because I don’t think playing chicken and skipping class is smart or practical or going to be useful later in life.  Sometimes, I get really depressed.  Aggravated.  Confused.  Because I’m really just growing older and older.  It’s like being a middle-aged woman stuck in a teenager’s body.  Sure, I have so many opportunities, but how am I going to run into the truly great ones when I’m cramped up studying inside all day?  I’m not.. so maybe I should just let loose and party every once in awhile.  I’ll still try hard and do my homework, but I’m not gonna ace every test..  I shouldn’t have to kill myself to do well.  I can make mistakes in life, and it will all be okay.  I’ll be happier and healthier, and well… more alive.

     I live in a world where people can pass me by without a blink of an eye.  People may think - she looks unhappy, she looks intimidating.  Intimidating?  Is that what the neutral line painted across my face says?  Is that what the eyes pointed toward the ground scream?  Intimidating?  I am everything but.  I am a selfish, cruel, dark soul.  If anything, I am intimidated.  I am scared of the popular crowd.  I resent the drunken teenagers.  I am jealous of the anime “freaks”.  I find comfort in the stoners and hippies.  Why?  Out of all people, why them?  Because I’m not anonymous.  I can talk about the stars and sun and everything in between.  My theories can blow their minds, or maybe it’s the drugs talking.  They respect people and where they’ve come from.  Even if it was “the bottom”, because everyone’s been there nowadays, right?  If you tell a stoner where I come from something, you have to stick to it.  Because your word is more powerful than any hierarchy.  So that’s why I support blazing.  That’s why I back up medicinal marijuana.  This is why I find a home in a drug pin, and roommates from the cartel.  Maybe we should all rethink how we’ve seen the world.  Although the lifestyle I support doesn’t fit me… it could open your mind and show you to a whole new world.  So, welcome to Narnia my friends.  Welcome to Wonderland.  Stay curious.

3-12-13